HELICOPTER PARENTS

It’s just another day for this young college student who has jumped into the “beginning” stages of adulthood. He wakes up in his one person dorm room and goes through the male college-age ritual of getting ready in the morning; smell his pants that he wore yesterday to make sure they don’t stink. Gargle mouthwash instead of brush his teethe. Smell his armpits to see if they’re just too ripe to not use deodorant. Right before he walks out the dorm, he hears his computer chirp which means he has a message from someone. He goes over to read the message, and is suddenly filled with shame and embarrassment. Message from mom reads, “I KNOW YOUR NOT GOING TO YOUR CLASSES WITHOUT CLEANING YOUR SELF UP PROPERLY!!” He really hated that darn webcam in his bedroom.

Helicopter parents just don’t know when to let go. They hover over their kids and hinder them from becoming adults. As of lately, they’ve been joining Facebook to have a peek into the secret lives of the children. Their kids don’t have to get jobs if they don’t want to because they’re going to be bogged down with homework, so they buy their kid’s groceries for them, weekly. They spend thousands of dollars to get there college kids “help” from a “doctor” because of their depression and stress they have from being in a new environment. Yeah, some parents take it to an extreme but majority of parents do practice helicoptering. "We estimate that 60% to 70% of parents are involved in some kind of helicoptering behavior," says Patricia Somers, an associate professor of education at the University of Texas-Austin, whose analysis is based on more than 50 interviews with officials from 10 four-year public universities across the USA.

“The desire to be needed is very powerful in parents," says Adele Faber, a Long Island, N.Y., author of parenting books. "To go from that all-powerful parent whose kids desperately need you to someone who sees a child as a separate individual is a very hard journey. We need to help our kids be separate and independent people who can function on their own."

We fear for there safety. We Fear for their spiritual growth. We believe they aren’t ready to face to “real world”. We don’t trust their judgment. I can’t help but to wonder, WHAT THE HECK HAVE THE PARENTS BEEN DOING FOR THE PAST 18 YEARS!!?? Have they not taught their kids anything? DO they doubt the Holy Spirit will guide them? Do they think their prayers for their kids will not reach God’s ears?
"'I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.'"- Jer. 29:11. This is our hope as Christian parents: God is in control and we can trust him. He really does have only the best planned for our children.

KIDS HATE SHARING

I was shocked to see my best friend Aaron get grabbed by his ears and yelled at by his mother. I can tell by his grimacing face that she had one heck of a grip on it. I told her it was no big deal and it didn’t bother me. She said, “Jo-Jo, stay out of our family affairs.” So I did. She went on to say, “We’ve been telling this boy he needs to learn to share more. All he does is take, take, take, and take from people. But when it comes to sharing, it doesn’t get anymore selfish then him.” I knew I shouldn’t have asked for some of his potato chips.
Something about sharing just doesn’t resonate with kids. I’ve watched some of the most loving parents do an excellent job raising some of the most loving children. But when it came to sharing, these loving children turn into rabid pit-bulls. I’m constantly telling my daughter she needs to share. She agrees with the statement, but doesn’t AGREE with the statement.
“In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.”
Acts 20:35 NIV
Somewhere along the line someone had taught me how to share. Sometime in my life, it was more then my parent’s emphasis on sharing that opened my eyes to the beauty of sharing. At some point, it went past words and it was put into action. That’s what caught my attention. That’s what got me excited about sharing. That’s when I found out one of the most beautiful things someone can do for someone else is giving up a portion of what it is they have as an expression of selflessness and love. It’s a practice worth doing. I’ve seen 65-year-old men and women who’ve been trained to never provide for someone who doesn’t earn it or obtain it themselves. If you ask me, that goes completely against scripture. What’s that one bible verse? Oh yeah. “God helps those who help themselves.” Oh…wait. That’s not in the Bible. That was that old lady down the road.

THE WRONG KIND OF "HIGH" SCHOOL

He’s a good looking young guy that all the girls are nuts over. He’s friends with all kinds of kids in the high school and one of the most popular. He’s an amazing skateboarder. He’s one of the most social teenagers I have ever met. He can hold a conversation with anyone from a five year-old kid to a crabby old grandma. He makes sure he looks good with his dress attire at all times, staying up on the hottest clothes. Oh, and one more thing: he loves to smoke marijuana. Well, I should say loved because now he’s on fire for Jesus and loves to do anything possible to praise Him.
This young man is a kid that really had me confused. He looked like he had it all together and you couldn’t hold anything against him. But recently he admitted to me that smoking and selling pot were his main focuses in life. This is such a common trend among teens in your local high school. It’s no longer just the kids that look like “bad” kids that our getting more deeply involved with drug use and selling. You can find the best athletic star high during class with a pocket full of mom’s and dad’s prescription pills to sell to anyone willing to buy a cheap high. According to a study by Columbia University’s National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse, 61% of high school teens say their high school has a major drug problem, compared with 44% in 2002. Problems are rising in middle school, too, with 31% of middle schoolers saying their school has drug issues. That’s up from 19% five years ago.
These kids have turned to drugs because that seems to be the answer for their lives. I disagree with psychologists who think there is a deeper issue at hand with anyone who uses drugs. Some kids do have deeper issues, but others just want to have fun. When I first became a Christian, playing capture the flag or watching the Princess Bride on a Friday night with a couple dozen Christian kids that could never watch anything PG13 or worse was not my idea of fun. I missed my old life of partying and freedom to choose whatever I wanted to do. I missed smoking pot because that was my idea of fun. And not just fun but that’s what cool people did. I was too cool to be with those “Christian Nerds”. (I happen to still hate The Princess Bride but I am far from cool these days.)
With drugs becoming more and more of an issue in the high schools, we need to prepare our kids for that reality. Make sure that we are engaging with them about the issue. Not just telling them they better not do it. Make sure they keep an eye open for who is doing the drugs and not assume it’s the kids with the baggy dark clothes with long hair and smells like a dead skunk. It could well be the kids that they can’t wait to bring home and show off how cool of a friend they’ve made. We should make sure our kids are proclaiming that Jesus came “that they may have life, and have it to the full.” If our kids don’t pay attention and take action, then it’s a battle already lost and pointless to fight.